Semi-infrequent Ramblings

Fri, 11 Aug 2006 12:18:28 GMT

I think it's official: I've lost the little diamond bracelet my boy gave me for Christmas. It's flittering about somewhere in the greater Pittsburgh area, never to be seen on my wrist again. After tearing apart my luggage, going through every pocket of every piece of clothing I packed, making my sister search her car, my aunt search both her house and my grandmother's, and calling the rental car company used by my parents, the restaurant where we ate dinner and even the grocery store where we stopped for literally 30 seconds on the way home, and coming up empty at each turn, I'm not holding out much hope. Boo.

Uphill battles

Thu, 10 Aug 2006 01:05:39 GMT

I got the results of my bone scan back last Thursday, while I was standing in my sister's kitchen in Pittsburgh, helping her unpack and settle into the place she had just moved into. And, yeah, not what I was expecting.

I'd thought that since I'd started actually eating and gained all of the weight I was told to, my bone density levels would have continued to steadily improve without the aid of medication. I was wrong on that point. They didn't improve, nor did they remain steady. Nope, they plummeted all the way back to the baseline levels taken in 2002 when I barely weighed 90 pounds. I have severe osteoporosis and have a dangerously high fracture rate in my hips and my spine. That one hurt. MY SPINE? Um, WTF? Is there any other bone in your body that's worse to have a fracture rate for?

Le sigh. I cried about it for about four days, and then I kicked my ass into gear. I accepted that this is something I'll have to deal with for the rest of my life. While most women start taking Fosamax when they're 60 or so, I'll start the lifetime prescription at 29. I'll be very careful to make sure I eat a calcium and vitamin D rich diet for the rest of my life, and make sure I get at least 1500 mg of additional calcium supplements a day. I'll be very cognizant of my posture and make sure I never start to slouch over. I have to be careful to avoid falls and other such accidents. It sucks, but I did it to myself, so I can't bitch too much.

But, seriously, this is something that you NEVER think of when you're in the beginnings of an eating disorder. You think, "Oh, I'll be able to buy size 0s now," but never, " Oh, I'm going to develop osteoporosis in my mid-20s." Seriously, that shit needs to be better publicized. I look back at a series of decisions I made in 2001 and 2002, and I want to strangle myself. Yes, I was crazy skinny for a few years and could wear whatever the hell I wanted. That's really the only high point. Looking back now, only a few years later, was it worth it? Not even fucking close.

Eating disorders affect your life in ways you couldn't even imagine. The lingering effects can wrought more damage than the type you suffer through at the time. I should start doing speaking engagements on this. I'm my very own friggin' cautionary tale.

Meh.

For I am BRILLS

Wed, 19 Jul 2006 01:23:42 GMT

So I wake up to head out to the gym this morning, and I can't find my keys. They're not hanging on the key hook I hammered into the wall so I'd never misplace them. They're not sitting on the kitchen counter or on the dining room table. They're not in my purse or my work bag. I'm just about to drop down to my hands and knees and crawl under my table to see if maybe they fell to the floor, when I get that sickening thought in my stomach, remembering how I was struggling coming home last night, trying to manage a suitcase, my purse, a computer backpack, three bags of groceries and four days of mail.

No, I think to myself. I couldn't have.

Oh, but I did. I left my friggin' house keys hanging outside in the lock all friggin' night long. Real safe. I live right in the heart of South Beach. I mean, it's not Compton or anything, but it's also not middle of nowhere, Iowa. I nearly died when I saw what I had done. I keep my computer not even five short steps from my front door. And it's not like I back up any of my writing or anything, either. God, that could have bad. My personal safety aside, I could have lost everything I've written in the past few months.

*shudders*

I've been justifiably neurotic about my front door since I got home today. Seriously, I've checked that shit like six times. Still locked. Keys still hanging on the key hook. WHERE THEY WILL STAY FROM NOW ON.

Mon, 23 Jan 2006 01:35:28 GMT

Woohoo! The Steelers are going to the Super Bowl!

Mon, 16 Jan 2006 23:50:40 GMT

Just got back from 5 days in Pittsburgh. So tired. Caught a nasty cold. Can't handle the Steelers drama. Can't handle my grandmother's drama. Just want to sleep ...

But first, a happy one-day-late birthday to heidi8!! Hope it was a most special day! (Free for lunch any day this week?)

Waste of a night

Mon, 09 Jan 2006 01:21:24 GMT

Now, as far as concerts go, I'm not too hard to please. Just sit me down in front of someone playing live, and, assuming he or she is mildly competent, I'm a happy camper. But Billy Joel last night? Totally sucked. He opened with "Piano Man," which was awesome, but then spent the next 90 minutes playing all the b-sides off of all the records he released in the 70s, none of which anyone in the audience had ever heard before. I've never been at a concert (at a frickin' arena, no less) where there was a constant stream of people leaving and those who stayed behind just sat their in their seats, not moving. I even heard some booing. And don 't get me started on the non-existent set design. I've seen better at high school drama club productions. Things got better for the last half-hour, at least, when he actually stared playing songs the audience knew. But even a last ditch "We Didn't Start the Fire" was going to make up for the 18 previous songs. Sorely, sorely disappointing.

Last night kicked off the concert tour, so all I can hope is that he learns from last night and does some serious reshuffling of the lineup. If not, if any of you out there have tickets, I'd change them in for something else. Bad form, Mr. Joel.

Wine rec!

Sat, 07 Jan 2006 18:32:32 GMT

I have become obsessed with wine. This wine to be exact. Seriously, if you like wine, you have to try it. A-friggin-mazing. It's not super pricey; the most I've seen it for retail is about $25. But wow is it good. I think I'd become their spokesmodel if I could. Especially if I could wear a sparkly dress, poof my hair up and pretend I was on Star Search circa 1987. That would rock.

In other news, I'm going to see Billy Joel tonight! Woot!

Secrets, anyone? I can keep 'em!

Wed, 28 Dec 2005 23:27:53 GMT

Dude, I seriously would make a kick-ass secret keeper. My best friend just called and told me that she got engaged, and I finally got to shout at her, "Bitch, I've known for months!!" (after saying, "Oh my God, I love you, congratulations," of course). Dear lord, the agony it's been to not be able to say anything. It was really hard the other night when she started saying she had a hunch he was going to propose. I started digging my nails deep into my boyfriend's knee to keep from saying anything and then later slightly freaked out that he would misinterpret that as my own little 'so when are you going to propose?' hint, which ... no. Totally was not. Had to set that one straight. But anyhow, James and Lily would totally still be alive if I had been their secret keeper.

And just for fun ... 1. What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before?
Successfully argued a motion in open court, took a deposition, went to Ireland.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Never make 'em.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Heidi!

4. Did anyone close to you die?
A great uncle.

5. What countries did you visit?
England and Ireland.

6. What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005?
A house I own.

7. What date from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
September 16, 2005. Day I reconnected with my boy.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
For the first time, being 100% fine with the fact that I weight 30 pounds more than I did in 2002.

9. What was your biggest failure?
My first attempt at settling a case on my own. Went swimmingly. Riiiiiight ...

10. Did you suffer illness or injury
Really shitty cold, wisdom teeth. But apart from that, nothing too bad.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Um, an iPod? That's boring.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Rent. American Express.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Boyfriend!

16. What song will always remind you of 2005?
Bob Marley's 'Stir it Up.'

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

Happier or sadder? Happier.
Thinner or Fatter? Fatter. But that's okay.
Richer or poorer? Richer.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Writing.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Working.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Just at home with the fam. Very nice.

22. Did you fall in love in 2005?
Yes indeed.

23. How many one-night stands?
Uh, zero.

24. What was your favourite TV program?
Gilmore Girls or Project Runway

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
A certain opposing counsel.

26. What was the best book you read?
While not exactly a book per se, it would have to be my late grandmother's diary she kept when she was 11.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I re-fell in love with Nine Inch Nails. Does that count?

28. What did you want and get?
Wanted happiness. Definitely found it.

29. What did you want and not get?
My very own townhouse in Coconut Grove.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Probably Wedding Crashers. Awesome.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
28. Drank lots of wine.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
If I'd had my boy for the first nie months of it too.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005?
Similar to fashion concept of 2004, sadly. I did try to incorporate nouveau Victorian into the fall wardrobe a bit, but everyone wound up asking me why I was dressing like Madonna circa "Like a Prayer."

34. What kept you sane?
Family, friends and some good bottles of wine.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
There will never be anyone besides Orlando Bloom for me.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
God, which political issue didn't stir me? Because it's so close to the holidays, I've recently been most riled by the whole Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays bullshit.

37. Who did you miss?
Really miss irinaauthor :(

38. Who was the best new person you met?
The boy doesn't count, since he's not exactly "new," so ... don't know.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005:
Be patient and all will work out for you.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
Um, I decline, but thanks for asking.

Fri, 02 Dec 2005 01:42:32 GMT

98% of the time, being a lawyer is great. Today was one of those 2% days.

The #1 worst thing, hands down, about being a lawyer is that you spend your days worrying about other people's problems. And not the minor, run-of-the-mill problems either, but the HUGE, life-altering, high stakes problems. And every once in a while, it really gets to you, especially when you're like me, and you get so emotionally involved in your client's lives. It's tough.

tabi-jo.mac!

Tue, 29 Nov 2005 01:57:26 GMT

I have crossed over and become a Mac user. And, my lord, why didn't I do this sooner? I got home, took the iBook out of the box, plugged it in, turned it on ... and everything WORKED. It instantly recognized my internet signal. I plugged in my camera, and all of pictures instantly uploaded and sorted themselves. A-friggin-mazing. I love it.

The only thing I can't figure out is how to get my old iTunes to load onto my new computer, but just a minor setback. It's a project to sic the boyfriend on.

Dude, Apple rocks. Windows sucks.

Sat, 10 Sep 2005 17:42:47 GMT

Tuesday morning I have an appointment with an oral surgeon to have my wisdom teeth extraction consultation. (Never mind that this will be the third such consultation. I don't really understand why my dentists need to be consulted so much for such a simple procedure, apart from their wanting to bilk my insurance company for every last penny. Which I can respect). Anyhow, I guess we'll schedule the actual extraction at that time. Bleh.

Then, Tuesday night, I'm going out to dinner with a new boy. He seems really cool, and we appear to be really compatible, so I give myself three weeks before everything goes to shit. Hey, I'm just playing the odds, people.

In other news, I'm sitting on my couch watching the "Blossom: E! True Hollywood Story," which is bringing back such fun memories. But, good god, Mayim Bialik today? Unrecognizable.

VMAs!

Sun, 28 Aug 2005 05:08:48 GMT

I totally saw Shakira today wandering around South Pointe. She rocks my world. No Orlando Bloom sightings as of yet, unfortunately, but the night's still young. Off to have a few more cocktails ...

Hurricane ... part deux

Sat, 27 Aug 2005 02:44:12 GMT

Okay ... so Katrina was a bit more powerful than anticipated. Still, she didn't do that much damage to my place. We have a few trees down, but that's about it. I didn't even lose power, making me the only person amongst my family and close friends to have not only power but also cable and internet access. Yeah, I've been pretty popular today. In all, it was nice to have the day off of work, but it would have been better had the office been open, considering I have a summary judgment response due Monday. Now I'll have to work all weekend. Grr ...

Hurricane!

Thu, 25 Aug 2005 21:10:22 GMT

I'm sitting on my patio furniture, which is now in my living room, and I've got three bottles of wine and the entire first season of Miami Vice on DVD. Bring it, Katrina!

Damn.

Sun, 21 Aug 2005 04:38:06 GMT

It was ten years ago, and I was a senior in high school. I was sitting in the family room when the phone started ringing. My mom answered it, and a few moments later, she called out, "Tabitha, Sarah's on the phone." I still remember that she called me by my full name, and I remember thinking it was weird because my entire family always called me "Tab." I walked into the kitchen where she was holding the phone out for me and climbed onto the kitchen counter, sitting cross-legged.

"Hey, Sarah."

There was a pause. "Janine."

"What?" I asked.

"You know about Janine." She didn't pose it as a question.

My first impulse on hearing the name was to mutter, "bitch." Janine was another girl in my class and while we were generally friends, we were in the midst of some petty little fight that teenage girls love to have. I don't even remember what it was about. For some reason, though, I held back on the inner dialogue. "Know what?" I asked instead.

There was another pause. "She died today."

This time I was the one to take a pause, Sarah's words registering in my brain. I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

"Tab?" Sarah's voice said softly.

"I ... um ... I ..." I couldn't find the words, any words. I told Sarah I'd call her back and hung up. Later on I'd learn that Janine was killed in a car accident driving home after picking up her prom dress. It was only 3 days before the senior prom and only 10 days before graduation. She had been on the Sawgrass Expressway behind a truck, and a ladder had fallen off the truck and into the middle of the road. She'd swerved to try and miss it and completely lost control of her car. I'd like to say that she'd died instantly, but that wasn't the case. She died at the scene but not before coughing up blood while cradled in her 14-year-old brother's arms. He was a freshman at the time. This is one of those facts I wish I'd never learned because it still haunts me to this day. The whole thing does, actually. Four years I spent in high school. That's four years worth of memories, yet for some reason whenever I think of high school, this is the first memory I conjure.

I just got home about 15 minutes ago and stopped by the mailbox on my way upstairs. Sitting there in the mailbox was a letter from my high school, a notice for my ten-year high school reunion. You know, until that letter, it hadn't dawned on me that it's been 10 years since I graduated. Ten years, full of college memories, law school memories, injuries, illnesses, love, heartache and laughter. And the first thought that came to mind was of Janine. As if no time had passed at all. Weird how the mind works.

Fun!

Sat, 20 Aug 2005 00:30:04 GMT

1. Go here.
2. Pass it on.

1.~How did you meet muffinbutt? Through irinaauthor
2.~What would you do if you had never met eliasheldon? I really don't know. I would have had such a great time in Boston though.
3.~What do you honestly think of dancingrain? She's awesome! And so, so sweet!
4.~Would or did eliasheldon and zorac go out? No, and probably not. SHe's kinda married and all.
5.~Have you ever liked jlh? She lent me her MoMA card, and I was hooked.
6.~If epicyclical died tomorrow, what is one thing that you would need him/her to know? Um ... she's one of the wittiest people I've ever met.
7.~Would ari_o and heidi8 make a good couple? Oh yeah :)
8.~Describe hanacandi in 3 words: Adorable fellow redhead.
9.~Do you think irinaauthor is hot? Smokin'
10.~Would epicyclical and ali_wildgoose make a lovely couple? But of course.
11.~What do you think of when you see zorac? Pints of beer.
12.~Tell me something humiliating about heidi8: She drives a minivan :)
13.~Do you know any of praetorianguard's family members? Nope.
14.~What's eliasheldon's favorite color? Ooooh ... I have no idea.
15.~On a scale of 1-10 how cute is amory_craine? 11. And he knows it. So I'll knock it down to an 8 to keep that damn ego in check.
16.~What would you do if malachan just professed their undying love for you? Giggle.
17.~What language does eliasheldon speak? Ingles y espanol.
18.~Who is titanic_days going out with? Do not know.
19.~Is shakespearessis a boy or a girl? Chica.
20.~Would eliasheldon and malachan make a good couple? Probably not. She's taken an all (although, with all these questions, I'm starting to wonder)
21.~Who do you think eliasheldon would be great with from this list? John needs to have a journal.
22.~When was the last time you talked to irinaauthor? Talked, like on the phone or in person? WAY too long.
23.~What is jlh's favorite band? No clue.
24.~Does ari_o have any siblings? Hmm ... yes?
25.~Would you ever date praetorianguard? We'd probably bore each other to death with all the lawyer speak.
26.~Would you ever date hanacandi? If British dual citizenship was on the line, hell yes.
27.~Is eliasheldon single? Nope.
28.~What is eliasheldon's last name? Gee, that's a tough one.
29.~What is eliasheldon's middle name? Ooh, that actually is a tough one.
30~What is dancingrain's fantasy? Don't know. Probably something awesome though.
31.~Where does shakespearessis live? I'm blanking. I knew where she used to live.
32.~Would you make out with muffinbutt? *smooch*
33.~Are eliasheldon and praetorianguard best friends? Bestest friends ever? Well, it's not like they exchanged necklaces or anything.
34.~Does hanacandi like eliasheldon? How could she not?
35.~How did you meet eliasheldon? Again, through irinaauthor, the personal LJ networker.
36.~Is irinaauthor older than you? Nope.
37.~Is ali_wildgoose the sexiest person alive? Sure :)

Thu, 18 Aug 2005 23:47:07 GMT

So, after putting up with a week's worth of excruciating pain in the back of my mouth, coupled with the joy of having my gums randomly bleed for the past four days, I decided to spontaneously drop in on my dentist this morning. And, yeah, I have to have my wisdom teeth removed. Great. Love it.

The only upside to all of this is that I finally have a job that pays dental benefits, and 90% of this shit is covered. Woohoo! And I get free drugs! Again, woohoo!

Thu, 04 Aug 2005 00:34:58 GMT

Had lunch with heidi8 and the most adorable 3 1/2 month old ever (aka Catie) today. So much fun! Got to have Pho ... got to get out of office for 2 hours ... got pretty pink bracelet. It's been much too long, Heidi ...

In other news, I have a new soccer team crush. Yes, Brit Boy still totally does it for me, but I've also discovered someone else. Let's call him Mr. Personality because ... well ... he has this awesome personality that I'm completely enamored with. The fact that he's also blond with blue eyes doesn't hurt either.

I've decided that I need to take a more aggressive role with the soccer boys, so I'm going to break things off with the boy I'm dating now, but I can't do it until Tuesday. He has this big interview thing on Monday, and given that I'm not a completely heartless bitch, I'm not going to break this off until afterward. But come Tuesday, I'm all about BB and MP.

In other news, I'm blowing off work tomorrow, driving down to the Keys and spending the entire day on a boat in the Atlantic, drinking daiquiris. Yes, tough life, I know.

Wed, 27 Jul 2005 23:36:28 GMT

Playing in the rain with a slight cold? Really</> bad idea. For the first time since I started working at the firm, I had to leave early.

In other news, ever since I read HBP, I've been craving getting back into Lily writing. So I have. I had about half a chapter written, until I went to open the document today and got this nasty ERROR message along with a box asking me if I'd like to revert back to the saved version. I thought "yes" was the obvious choice, but apparently not, because everything is gone. Does that make any sense? How can my chapter just disappear? Any ideas on how I can get it back?

Boo.

Tue, 26 Jul 2005 23:55:12 GMT

Many, many HAPPY BIRTHDAY wishes to irinaauthor and heart_of_wine, two of the most awesomest people I've ever met! Go celebrate at Addis!

*raises a Flirtini to you both*

Tue, 26 Jul 2005 23:49:12 GMT

Soccer game totally rocked! We tied 5-5 (should have won), and I got knocked on my ass (literally) twice. I don't what it is about me, but I never feel like I've played a good game unless I get bruised or bloody or at least wind up with a few grass stains.

But anyway ... things with Brit Boy went better than expected. He actually came up to me before the game and struck up a conversation. I know, surprising! I caught him staring at me at halftime too, although, truth be told, it could very well have been a "God, that girl is a fucking nutjob" look rather than a "Wow, I really want to sleep with her" look. Hard to tell.

Prior to the Friday night incident, I had fully planned on asking him if he wanted to go for a drink after the game, but I thought it best to scrap that plan for now. Plus, he was sticking around to play a double header. Eh, it'll be my little project over the summer.

And in the meantime, I have someone else to occupy my time. I'm kinda seeing someone at the moment, although I don't know whether it's going to last with him. He just doesn't excite me like Brit Boy. But he's nice enough, and it's kinda fun to be dating someone who's more into me than I am into him. And yes I realize that was totally bitchy and presumptuous, but whatever.

In bleh news, I have developed a minor cold. I woke up with a cough yesterday morning, then played soccer in the rain last night. Bad idea.

Mon, 25 Jul 2005 00:50:33 GMT

Fuck it. I'm not quitting my soccer team. I enjoy playing way too much to let one moment of sheer humiliation get in my way.

Next game's tomorrow night. Cross your fingers for me.

No wait, there are two 'S's in ASSHOLE

Sat, 23 Jul 2005 05:23:44 GMT

So I've been lurking for the past few weeks or so, randomly commenting here and there, but I figured I needed to actually de-lurk to relay the story of what happened to me tonight because it is perhaps the most humiliating thing ever, and far be it from me to deprive anyone the opportunity to laugh at my dumb ass. So here goes ...

I joined a rec soccer league here in Miami, and there's this amazingly hot guy on my team. No, seriously. Amazingly hot. On paper, he's everything I could possibly want - blond hair, blue eyes, reserved in a charming sort of way, drives a Porsche, and, wait, there's something else ... oh right. He's British. You know how I love the Brits.

Anyhow, I developed an instant crush and told all of my friends how he was my future husband, etc. etc. (People at work: "Hey, Tab, want to grab a drink tonight?" Me: "No, sorry, I have plans with my future husband. Sure, these 'plans' involve a soccer game with the team we play on together, but I fully intend to monopolize his time during halftime. Besides, last game when he ran past me, his hand brushed my ass, and I like to think that wasn't accidental"). Flash forward to tonight when I go out with a group of people I haven't seen in a while. We head to this new mock British pub in Coconut Grove, and, seeing as how they haven't seen me in a few weeks, I proceed to vociferously tell them the story about me and my future husband. I'm leaving out no details. We're laughing and giggling and having a great time ... and then I look up to discover that he's standing in front of me. Three feet in front of me. Staring at me with this look of horror on his face.

And if I could have died right there, that would have been just fine.

But honestly, of all the bars in Miami, why is he hanging out at the McPub? If I'm in England, I'm not going to the Hard Rock or anything. Christ.

In other news, I think I have to quit my soccer team.

Sun, 24 Oct 2004 17:44:57 GMT

I'm alive, I swear.

I've had no internet access for going on two months now. I finally got around to upgrading to Windows XP, and when I did, it uninstalled everything I use on a regular basis (internet connection, Palm Pilot software), and since I lost all of the installation disks, I'm shit out of luck. I could just call the evil denizens of Microsoftland and ask them to fix it, but this would require me to have a phone ... which I don't. My only method of communication is a cell phone, and I live right smack in the middle of a building constructed out of concrete, so I get terrible cell phone reception. So basically work is my only gateway to the outside world. Unless it's a phone call I can make at work or a website I can visit on my office computer, I'm not doing it. Hence the reason I haven't been to LJ is so damn long.

Okay, that was a long explanation. A few more things I've been up to:

1. Lucius is dead. What started off as a simple oil change on my car morphed into my engine exploding. Apparently when the guy who changes oil for a living changed mine, he neglected to screw the cap back on, so all the oil drained out of my car, and I drove around for two days without any oil in my car until I was driving home from work in the rain and my car died. Got it towed, blah blah blah, and found out the next day that Lucius needs a whole new engine to the tune of $6,000. I immediately got on the phone with the people who negligently changed my oil and was all, Guess what you did? Guess what you get to pay to fix? And, luckily, they stepped up and did the right thing. They're paying for everything, including the rental car I've been toodling around in for the past two weeks. I guess corporate America does have something resembling a conscience. Go figure.

2. I think I've fallen in love with a boy. It's complicated.

3. I pulled my hamstring. Lest you think otherwise, it hurts like a bitch. I pulled it stretching, which just about the lamest way to hurt one's self that I can think of.

Okay, that's my bimonthly update. See you in late December.

Sun, 05 Sep 2004 01:00:25 GMT

Right, so, Frances? Starting to get a little scary. The windows in the living room are noticeably vibrating. I'm not liking this so much.

And it's not even supposed to "hit" until about 2 a.m.